I Hear Voices by Gail Koger

Summary:

After being laid off from her psychic gig, Zelda Dragos decides finding Montezuma’s lost treasure has to be easier than prying a check out of the state’s unemployment office. The fly in the ointment is the tenacious Derek Sloan, an Indiana Jones type, who wants the gold for himself.

The first clue in the treasure hunt is an Aztec amulet on display at the Phoenix Art Museum. All Zelda needs to do is “borrow” it for a bit. Unfortunately, Derek has the identical plan. With the help of a holographic diversion featuring the Rock as Montezuma, Zelda zaps him with a stun gun and walks off with the Amulet.

Zelda uses all of her tricks to discourage Derek’s relentless pursuit; a smoke bomb, mace, a hive of angry bees and getting him arrested. Out of options, Zelda finds herself stuck with a partner who thinks she needs a keeper and he’s just the man for the job.

To find the treasure all they have to deal with is an angry Apache Thunder God, Asmoday, the demon king of the Ninth Hell, eight thousand vengeful Aztec spirits and a mummified Aztec warrior. Adding to the mess is Zelda’s evil Aunt Sophie and Uncle Dante who wants the treasure for themselves. Dante’s lethal goons are hot on their trail. Derek and Zelda soon discover love blooms in the weirdest places.

Reviewer: Dolce Amore
From the very hilarious first line, I couldn’t stop laughing.

I hear voices and see dead people. No, I’m not nuts. I’m psychic.

Zelda Dragos needs money and to be far away from her Aunt Sophie, who sold her soul to a demon, so when she sees an article in a magazine about Montezuma’s gold, she decides she'll be the one who’ll find it. However, she's not the only one who's after the gold, Derek Sloan aka Tomb Raider wants it too.

After robbing an artifact that could help her find the gold, Derek calls her.

“First thing I want to do to you, Angel, is strip you bare. Then I’m gonna spread your hot, naked body across my bed like a banquet and eat you until you scream.” Shaking off the urge to yell, ‘take me I’m yours’, I snorted rudely instead. “Nice try asshole.”

Her dead grandmother, who had refused to pass over until she accepts her destiny and finds a strong man to protect her, helps her too; although she thinks Zelda's finally found her match in Derek Sloan and tries to convince her to surrender to the man.

While she is searching for another clue, she faces a possessed Apache warrior and soon after a demon, so she finally accepts the help of Derek… temporarily, of course. After that she runs again. Here's the summary of the first part of her adventure and injuries.

“Did I get my brains scrambled when the helicopter crashed and burned real pretty? Or did it happen when I crashed Derek’s Hummer and the airbags deployed too late?
Or maybe it was when Peg Leg smacked me in the face? Or could it have been when I was kidnapped by a maniac on a motorcycle that dangled me over his lap like a sack of potatoes?”

Oh, and the maniac is Derek’s cousin, Dixon. He wants her to find the gold because her Aunt Sophie had set a price for her head.

Zelda escapes, but Dixon gets her again and locks her in his private plane and they take of; she finally escapes.

“You’re fucking nuts.”
I shrugged. “Some people think I am. Can’t imagine where they get that idea from. Oh, by the way, I need to borrow your airplane for a bit.” Alarm flared in his eyes. “Have you ever flown a Bombardier Learjet 45 before?”
“Nope but how hard can it be?” At his horrified expression, I hurriedly shut and locked the cockpit door.

Like I said, I kept laughing until the end. Zelda is a trouble magnet. There is always someone trying to kill her. She's a strong and independent woman who doesn’t want a man in her life, but she needs one to protect her. I really love this character, along with the Derek Sloan aka Tomb Raider. Strong, decisive, he's the perfect match for Zelda. And he is also romantic, buying her a bullet-proof vest and chocolate; and tells her this:

“Things that go bump in the night don’t scare me.” Derek gave me a long, tender kiss. “But if I lost you, I would lose the other half of my soul.”

Gail Koger created something wonderful and special, all the while keeping her marvelous humor that I love. It converted me into an addict, and I’m sure that many of you are feeling the same. 5 stars, this novel deserves this and more.

Publisher: Whispers Publishing
Review Courtesy Of: ManicReaders